Are Your Beliefs Holding You Back??

24 June 2014

Belief – Noun
Plural noun: Beliefs

– An acceptance that something exists or is true, especially one without proof.

Self-limiting beliefs are the things you believe about yourself that confine your abilities. These can be conscious or unconscious, and they may be founded or unfounded.

Our belief systems are initiated in early childhood through our interactions and the “reflections” we receive from our parents. These reflections are our first indications of our worth. As we get older these mirrors become friends, teachers, family, sports coaches and anyone that you interact with as we grow and mature. The images we receive from these mirrors are the basis of our self-image.

Every single person has certain ideas about themselves and the world that we “know” are true, even when they are not. These beliefs have been present for so long that you probably aren’t even aware of them.

What if these beliefs are analysed? Will they hold up under the scrutiny of rational thinking?

A great example of a damaging self-belief could be seen in the old style traveling circus. If you ever went to these you may have seen a fully grown elephant with a chain wrapped around its hind leg, attached to a small metal stake that has been driven in to the ground. To an outsider looking at this situation it is obvious that the elephant could easily pull the stake from the ground at any minute, so what is stopping them?? The elephant was first chained to the stake when it was a baby when it was not strong enough to pull it from the ground. Quickly the elephant learned the futility of attempting to yank itself free, so it accepted this as fact and as one of its life conditions. By the time the elephant was large enough and strong enough to free itself with ease, it had ceased trying. There have even been reports of elephants dying in fires while chained to stakes that they BELIEVED they couldn’t move.

What are your stakes in the ground??

What is holding you back from doing the things you want to do, or being the person you want to be??
When I first asked these questions to myself I found it challenging to identify specific areas. This is because we rarely think about this topic rationally. When our problems first arise we deflect them onto others. Be patient and make sure you’re in a pleasant state of mind when answering these. I like to sit quietly in the morning before everyone wakes up and have no distractions.

The first step in changing beliefs must always be to identify them. Without awareness of what they are, it is impossible to amend them.

Identifying false beliefs

Do you become anxious in situations that pose no real threat?
Are you unusually fearful of certain situations?

These feelings are shaped by your beliefs. Is it public speaking? Or the fear of asking a question in a group of people because you think it may be stupid? Do you avoid any form of confrontation?

What are YOUR situations that make YOU uneasy, but that pose no risk of harm to you?

A big indicator of limiting self-beliefs at work is procrastination. If you find yourself constantly procrastinating over a task, or a goal, or very commonly it can be procrastinating about goal setting itself, then there are some underlying beliefs holding you back.

Ever tell yourself any of these things? I know I have.

I’ll never change
I don’t deserve it
I don’t have time
If only I had _______ then I would _________
I can’t do it
Luck is never on my side
I don’t know what I want
I’m too short/fat/skinny/tall/bald/hairy/ugly…………
It’s just the way I am……

What you believe becomes your reality. There is a great quote from famous movie producer Robert Evans “there are three sides to every story: your side, my side, and the truth. And no one is lying. Memories shared serve each differently”. What our beliefs are, shape the way we see the world and define our role in it.

You may be feeling that you are the way you are but the good news but the good news is that false beliefs are nothing more than bad habits that you have learned. And like any habit, they can be corrected through determination and repetition. Once you identify your self-limiting beliefs you must challenge them every time they raise their ugly head. Bring your rational thinking left side of your brain in to play and challenge these beliefs as soon as you feel them surfacing.

Try asking yourself these questions:
• Is there any rational reasoning behind this belief?
• Could I be wrong?

You must deliberately and fiercely reject any thoughts or ideas that you are limited in any way. Once you are able to reject your old beliefs, you must then create new positive ones.

Anyone that has known me for a while would know that over the past several years I have made many positive changes to my beliefs, which has lead to me becoming a much happier person. Here are a few techniques that I have used to great effect, I’m sure they will work for you too.

Techniques to overcome these beliefs

1. Stop labelling yourself negatively and identifying with these beliefs – beliefs are so difficult to change because we see them as part of ourselves and sometimes even like to have a label (even if it is negative). Stop saying things like “I’m not creative”, “I don’t have a mechanical bone in my body”, “I’m too unco” and anything that labels you as a certain way.
2. Don’t accept what you “know” to be fact. Be flexible and open to the idea that you could be wrong.
3. Push your boundaries – you need to create new beliefs, and this is done through action. By doing things that you thought were outside your capabilities, you create new expectations and beliefs. You expel the “I cant” with the “I did” or the “I have”.
4. Find counters to your beliefs –Think of situations or experiences that prove your belief could be flawed. This could be either in your own life or use someone else’s.
5. Replace the old with the new – once you honestly begin to question your beliefs, you are in a position to supplant them with positive and uplifting beliefs. Try these ones and use them as affirmations throughout the day:

I am in control of my life
I choose how I respond to all situations
There are no negative experiences, only learning experiences.
My life is a gift
Everything I need to succeed is within me
There is more than enough to go around

And probably my favourite technique is one from Brian Tracy. Start each day by saying “I believe that something wonderful will happen to me today”. Say this to yourself each morning for the next month and you will be amazed at what happens to you. You will begin to seek and be more aware of the opportunities for amazing things to come about.

What you believe conditions what you do!!

Some great quotes on believing

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right” – Henry Ford
“We are what we believe we are” Benjamin N. Cardozo
“The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to reflect their inner beliefs” James Lane Allen
“What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are” Anthony Robbins